I will not text
I will not call
but somehow your picture made it onto my wall
camouflaged in green
as if it couldn't be seen
but I will not text
and I will not call
and I will learn self discipline
to the point where I will not think of you at all.
So I play the game of questions
and everything is on repeat
I know the routine from head to feet
Even then I spill my guts on the keys
Just for the chance to feel again
But I have not healed from then
Or closed the chapter of a fantasy.
Sadly,
I'm completely aware of my fallacy,
but somehow I've fallen in love with the thought
and yet to think realistically breaks my heart
So I sit with dreams and schemes of ways that we could be
Yet I barely speak, yet I hardly see
and I barely know thee
and I repeat,
I will not text
and I will not call
and I will not think of you at all....
Friday, February 19, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Cupid's Shrapnel
He left me a week before Valentine's Day
And there was nothing I could say to make him stay
It wasn't like I didn't see it coming
but the reality left me numb and....
there was nothing I could do to turn back the hands of time
I had to face he was no longer here, he was no longer mine
I cried for long hours, tears added to the water in the shower
but nothing could wash away my sorrow, or missing you tomorrow
And as Cupid aimed and shot his arrow, I was left with the aftermath of piercing shrapnel
Enough to cut my heart so deep, I could barely feel a beat.
But on the day of the Lover, I smiled and wore my red,
in attempt to get you out of my head
But you were my only thought.
I did my hair, put on my make up, I knew I would smear,
ironed this black dress I would wear and thought of a speech I might prepare.
But I was quite aware,
I would not have the courage to speak.
I knew the weeps would overpower my speech.
I walked right up to you, hoping you could explain yourself.
But you didn't even look at me with your wide eyes.
And for a man with so much to say, you didn't even speak a word
No noun, no adjective, no verb.
I could not understand this silence,
and nothing could make me comprehend.
Sadly, this is not a story of being jilted by a lover
for then I would deem myself fortunate, but for you,
there is no other, no more fish in the sea,
or other people to see
for you there is a memory
for you there is legacy
for you there is a piece of me.
And there was nothing I could say to make him stay
It wasn't like I didn't see it coming
but the reality left me numb and....
there was nothing I could do to turn back the hands of time
I had to face he was no longer here, he was no longer mine
I cried for long hours, tears added to the water in the shower
but nothing could wash away my sorrow, or missing you tomorrow
And as Cupid aimed and shot his arrow, I was left with the aftermath of piercing shrapnel
Enough to cut my heart so deep, I could barely feel a beat.
But on the day of the Lover, I smiled and wore my red,
in attempt to get you out of my head
But you were my only thought.
I did my hair, put on my make up, I knew I would smear,
ironed this black dress I would wear and thought of a speech I might prepare.
But I was quite aware,
I would not have the courage to speak.
I knew the weeps would overpower my speech.
I walked right up to you, hoping you could explain yourself.
But you didn't even look at me with your wide eyes.
And for a man with so much to say, you didn't even speak a word
No noun, no adjective, no verb.
I could not understand this silence,
and nothing could make me comprehend.
Sadly, this is not a story of being jilted by a lover
for then I would deem myself fortunate, but for you,
there is no other, no more fish in the sea,
or other people to see
for you there is a memory
for you there is legacy
for you there is a piece of me.
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