4:27 am: Summer Love

To My Ladies and The Memory of Summer's Past:


According to records, he was the accomplice and I was the mastermind.
I sit and reminisce, reading these old notes to pass the time.
Cause summers have come and gone,
and each one brings a lover that I have known,
which is weird
because flings are not something I condone.

Rarely did I ever confine myself to one,
cause everybody's single in the summer sun.
Whether late night dips
or salsa and Chips,
I only dabbled a bit
and for what it's worth,
I'd do it all again.
When computer screens
were the thing.
Instant messages on my phone
when I was all alone.
Well, those were the days,
thought I was grown but I was caught in a daze,
amazed,
by words,
things I had never heard
and feelings I had never felt,
I didn't need the hot weather
to make my heart melt.
Plus he sheltered me with his umbrella
in the summer rain,
if I had mine
I would've probably done the same.

Late night chats before bed,
just to say
he had a thought of me
in his head,
couldn't call
so he texted instead.
If Prince Charming existed
he would have been him,
but he was playing games,
he had his chance and he missed it.
Cause summer
brings upon a loss of memory,
he had a girlfriend
yet he was tryna wife me?
"If your girl only knew,
that I was your other boo....
what would she do?"
Don't forget
we BOTH played each other like a toy,
no regrets,
thanks for the memories,
it was a real joy.

Staying up til sunrise,
wiping the sleep from our eyes,
riding in your car
and dirty dancing at the bar,
movies and ice cream,
pillow talking,
tell me all of your dreams,
just to name a few things
of what summer can bring.

But those summer loves
that have known me (past tense),
have shown me,
that few ever make it past the season,
because to advance to the next level
you need a reason.
But there are a few exceptions
and I'm...on...my way...to believing..

Dear John

Dear John,

I'm ready for this to be done, I've waited for too long because I thought you were the one. I thought perhaps we could find love if our paths met again, but now I see we're better off as just friends. Let's face it, I have far too many writing demands and all you care to do is express yourself in short hand. You don't have the time and therefore my time is wasted. You were the thought I loved so I continued to chase it, but no more. It's about time for me to close and lock the door. No more, cause I'm the only one slow dancing on this burning floor. The dream of you is supreme but the reality is mean, too cold for a warm hearted girl and nothing becomes of the love unfurled. So my dearest John, thanks for the memories, thanks for the times, even if you care to offer a rebuttal, please don't reply. Right now, I'm onto the next one, might win some but you just lost one, no further explanation, I'm done.

Sincerely,

Bestyou Couldvehad

I Will Not Text, I Will Not Call

I will not text
I will not call
but somehow your picture made it onto my wall
camouflaged in green
as if it couldn't be seen
but I will not text
and I will not call
and I will learn self discipline
to the point where I will not think of you at all.
So I play the game of questions
and everything is on repeat
I know the routine from head to feet
Even then I spill my guts on the keys
Just for the chance to feel again
But I have not healed from then
Or closed the chapter of a fantasy.
Sadly,
I'm completely aware of my fallacy,
but somehow I've fallen in love with the thought
and yet to think realistically breaks my heart
So I sit with dreams and schemes of ways that we could be
Yet I barely speak, yet I hardly see
and I barely know thee
and I repeat,
I will not text
and I will not call
and I will not think of you at all....

Cupid's Shrapnel

He left me a week before Valentine's Day
And there was nothing I could say to make him stay
It wasn't like I didn't see it coming
but the reality left me numb and....
there was nothing I could do to turn back the hands of time
I had to face he was no longer here, he was no longer mine
I cried for long hours, tears added to the water in the shower
but nothing could wash away my sorrow, or missing you tomorrow
And as Cupid aimed and shot his arrow, I was left with the aftermath of piercing shrapnel
Enough to cut my heart so deep, I could barely feel a beat.
But on the day of the Lover, I smiled and wore my red,
in attempt to get you out of my head
But you were my only thought.
I did my hair, put on my make up, I knew I would smear,
ironed this black dress I would wear and thought of a speech I might prepare.
But I was quite aware,
I would not have the courage to speak.
I knew the weeps would overpower my speech.
I walked right up to you, hoping you could explain yourself.
But you didn't even look at me with your wide eyes.
And for a man with so much to say, you didn't even speak a word
No noun, no adjective, no verb.
I could not understand this silence,
and nothing could make me comprehend.

Sadly, this is not a story of being jilted by a lover
for then I would deem myself fortunate, but for you,
there is no other, no more fish in the sea,
or other people to see
for you there is a memory
for you there is legacy
for you there is a piece of me.