They Never Tell You....

They never tell you that... Love gets you higher than the skyscrapers above but it also hurts the depths of your soul, how could something so warm be so cold. One of those things that you never see coming but you watch as it goes. Who knows why it ever hit you in the first place and when it leaves you it rubs it in your face. If its true, tell me does it last forever, does it take breaks, does withstand the weather? Is it patient, is it kind? Or is it on a schedule of time? Is it tactful or diplomatic? Is it foolish or problematic? Is it pure? Or Is it unwilling and unsure? Is it based on physicality? Mentality? Or better yet spirituality? Is it friendly? Or is it just my enemy? Is it the one that stabs you in the back? Then turns around and applauds you with a clap? Does it want you, does it need you? Does it starve you? Does it feed you? Does it keep you company or just leave you lonely? Is it real or is it phony? I will never know it and it will never know me. My tears fell down and my feelings bleed out and I was relieved without a doubt 

Silver Metal

24 months and countless hours of textual conversations and sexual relations and though much jubilation I'm left with contemplation of our intentions, I wish you had failed to mention, your past cause these disgruntled feelings still last.  Second place, feels like a waste even with this silver medallion around my neck, it feels like the gold chain was jerked right from my hands and I don't understand. I say I want your heart but why does your body seem so important right now, if she ever had your emotion, why can't I have it right now. If she had your emotion, is there any left in your soul right now, to transport through your body to me. I know I'm selfish I see, who knew that love could turn to greed. Who knew that guilt would pulse through me at the same time as jealousy. Enough to make me wanna rewind and retrace and make all the mistakes. Enough to make me wanna lose myself self in someone else before I got here, just to say that I've lived and I've learned and I've loved and I've lost. Just to say that I've kissed and I've told but yet nobody knows. I wish I had been bold, to give me some more, to even the score. My regrets they only hurt you because they reflect through my words, through my insecurities, they hurt you. Sometimes I wonder what could've been, what can I say I'm a woman. You must of thought the same, what can I say you're only a man. I won the prize but I lost the race, let's face it I'll never be first place. Space and time has screwed me, I shoulda gave the Ds, the Js, the Ts, the Rs the best of me. Selfishly, I carefully was everything I was supposed to be. I got here unlived, some learned, heartbroken, bridges burned. Disappointed enough to feel that fairy tales and first times are rarely real.