Reality Show

I wish I had the courage to tell you all the things I need to, but in between these blurred words and traumatizing trapezoids, and the love bank telling me my check is void, I put my feelings aside. I rest my head on this pillow in hopes that when I awake it will be resolved, in my dreams I could say it all, with little remorse, I'd stand strong and tall. But my double X chromosomes didn't code for growing balls and in addition I stand a little over 5 ft small. I hide behind such excuses. Perhaps I can drop these defenses down with these clothes, but then I'd be exposed and everyone would know. So I put on a show, wishing I only had a 30 minute time slot, but the broadcaster says it's limitless, so I guess not. But when I'm offstage we're always on the clock until time no longer exist and by then I can not turn back the hands. I'd like to rewrite our contract with new demands, with requests that you come to rehearsals on time and be sure that you know your lines and please make them sound convincing so I'll be satisfied. Our love is coming out, it's showtime, at least in my mind. Now this is the part where I tell him I'm in love with another man and the truth is he never even had a chance. This is where I switch, from the protagonist to the cold callus witch. I didn't intend for the season to end like this, where the princess is still waiting for the first last kiss. Instead of victory, she is simply dismissed. Now luckily, my job provides a few luxuries, no house, no car, no bluetooth, just from time to time I'm allowed to, fill in the blanks with impromptu. Now I am skilled in the craft of pretending. Too bad real life doesn't have rewrites and alternate endings.

Woman?

I am a woman
And what does that mean?
It means being judged by how well my ass fits in these jeans or how low I can drop it on the dance floor
It means having my breast starred into rather than my eyes
It means being called a bitch just because I don't want to give my number out
It means being asked about my sexual history before being asked my favorite color
It means being subjected to double standards, in which I'm called a "ho" or "slut" if you THINK I have too many male acquaintances
It means being whistled and "holla-ed" at, as if that's all I'm worthy of
It means watching him rub his hands together and lick his crusty lips as he says " ahhh can I get yo number?"
It means watching as other women giggle as if all these things are acceptable!
It means being called "uptight" simply because I refuse to giggle too.
It means being constantly objectified!

I am a woman, a beautiful creature of this earth, and certainly I deserve RESPECT!

The Visionary

He said he could write about me but declined. So I'll take it upon myself to write about him, where do I begin? Perhaps with the weekend, where we meet, same time, same place, shining lights with cameras in face. They cry and we laugh, about the confrontation & the unfortunate aftermath. He sits at home, downs his last cup of Patrón, his only reply, "idk" (I don't know). After music making and picture taking, he wrestles with some bullshit that he should just let go. I tell him so, but he already knows. But this is the eb and flow - of his life. He hates broken commitments and mispelled* words. He's into action, no need for verbs. He's not the same middle school boy he use to be, he's into mixing beats with symphonies. Anyway, it's way past 3, I've lost my energy, although he declined, I challenge him to write a little about me.

SPECTAC LIKE THAT???

So the latest buzz has been about SEXY SPEC, better known as Spectacular from the Hip-Hop/R&B freaky-deakey hit-maker group Pretty Ricky. Anyone that has heard the last two Pretty Ricky albums knows that these boys aren't shy about what they do (or claim to do) between the sheets, or in the back in their chevys for that matter. With songs like "Grind on Me" and " On the Hotline" we can tell that these guys are no closet freaks. The radio versions of their songs are complete edits of their true raw nature. We'll back to Spectacular.... apparently he thought it would be a good idea to call out all the hot male R&B artist to participate in a "grind challenge". In attempts to promote Pretty Ricky's new single "Tipsy" and to prove himself as the best grinder out there, Spectac appears scantly dressed in his tight red briefs. I'll let you be the judge of his dance moves and whether or not this video was a way of un-closeting something else beside his freak......




And then there is the parody...LMAO!