Reality Show

I wish I had the courage to tell you all the things I need to, but in between these blurred words and traumatizing trapezoids, and the love bank telling me my check is void, I put my feelings aside. I rest my head on this pillow in hopes that when I awake it will be resolved, in my dreams I could say it all, with little remorse, I'd stand strong and tall. But my double X chromosomes didn't code for growing balls and in addition I stand a little over 5 ft small. I hide behind such excuses. Perhaps I can drop these defenses down with these clothes, but then I'd be exposed and everyone would know. So I put on a show, wishing I only had a 30 minute time slot, but the broadcaster says it's limitless, so I guess not. But when I'm offstage we're always on the clock until time no longer exist and by then I can not turn back the hands. I'd like to rewrite our contract with new demands, with requests that you come to rehearsals on time and be sure that you know your lines and please make them sound convincing so I'll be satisfied. Our love is coming out, it's showtime, at least in my mind. Now this is the part where I tell him I'm in love with another man and the truth is he never even had a chance. This is where I switch, from the protagonist to the cold callus witch. I didn't intend for the season to end like this, where the princess is still waiting for the first last kiss. Instead of victory, she is simply dismissed. Now luckily, my job provides a few luxuries, no house, no car, no bluetooth, just from time to time I'm allowed to, fill in the blanks with impromptu. Now I am skilled in the craft of pretending. Too bad real life doesn't have rewrites and alternate endings.