My Deception

How can I expect so much if I'm living unfaithfully?
You should be true, even if I give into hypocrisy.
I dream how you kiss her so passionately, this nightmare only host my insecurity.
I can't be with you politically, so we just meet up personally.
Top secret conspiracy. Assassinate my heart with ease.
Drop down my defenses, can I be your Mrs. ?
Well I passed on the four year plan and I refused to hold his hand.
I rejected his advances, so I remain romanceless.
We had a few facebook pokes, then there were the inside jokes.
It was simply a one night stand, like I said, I refused to hold his hand.
We walked alone, he called on the phone, the deception melts my heart to stone.
I swear how I felt is not how I feel, and if anybody ask, you're the closest thing to real.
Through it all, I hope I haven't lost my appeal.
These days I avoid your eyes, hoping my truth doesn't reveal the lies.
Hoping to hide my deception.