Life Lane

You live your life in the fast lane
A life I can't seem to maintain
I am slowed down by red lights and stop signs
And in the midst of hesitating, I lose my place in line.
I hope this phase is worth the time it's been given
Long term you're losing, short term seems like you're winning.
And although this story is not a tragedy,
In the end, I still feel like a casualty
But this is just reality... for the moment
I can not change nor ignore it.
So I sit quietly, coasting on cruise control as I always do,
confirming realizations that things are only real when they're actually True.
I see there's no way that I can cure your addiction for the world,
I am not superhuman, I am just a girl.
I could type a slew of text messages, or even endless aims
but what will change?
Or I could pour my heart out in song,
hmm or even a poem...

I hear this is love, this is life, this is friendship
this is truth, this is lie, this is bullshit,
But I can rarely tell the difference,
because I can't decipher codes
And I can not make accurate conclusions about things I've never been told
I can't read minds and I can barely read lips.
You know what.....
Umm pass me the remote so I can fast-forward all of this...
But life has no remote control
Things constantly change so I can never get too comfortable
But I won't give in to Lonely
And I won't let gravity put it's weight upon me...
When you decide to slow down,
and you finally come around
I'll be here, not waiting
Nor anticipating
Your arrival
My only priority is my survival
I'm just going to sit back and recline
Let my world realign
On this park bench not worrying about a thing
watching winter turn to spring
Or summer turn into fall,
With no care at all.
Overall, life's good over here in my lane,
pace yourself and you might be able to say the same.

A Piece of My Heart

He's probably a better man
which is why I can't understand
how I could devote my time to
someone who isn't even there
one whom rarely shows he cares.
Life ain't fair
So how can I expect love to be so much better
its not always sunshine
sometimes it's stormy weather
And whether we are together or apart
Somehow your name got tattooed on my heart.
"Well doctor, how can I remove it?"
He tells me this shit is permanent
And my best bet is to cover it...
With a pretty little picture or another dudes name
:-O You gotta be kidding
This doctor is insane, this is not a game
I need a second opinion...
dammit it's the same
How did this happen,
did he ink me in my sleep?
get me while I was intoxicated?
when I could barely think?
Or was it when I was somewhat competent
mesmerized so much that he knocked me unconscious?
How he got me...I will never know
But his marking left some bruises that I can never show
So I grab some concealer on the 5th aisle
And while I'm there I think a while
About how...you could get with the next girl
or go back to your ex- girl
So she could use you and abuse you
just the way she use to
just the way you like it
so you refuse to fight it
Yeah uh huh, she will always love you
but only wants you
when its convenient
Her truth is a lie
So even though she says it
She never means it
But I guess you can take it
Cause Ima leave it
So remove your tainted hands from my heart
Unlike you, I'll finish what I start.
Since the doc wont provide me with some professional help
I guess I'll be doing this procedure all by myself
So I grabbed the lazer,
Unsuccessful
Maybe I should try it again later
but the time is now
so I must resort to the razor
And though I tried to be noninvasive
to avoid some complications
I figured it would be a bloody mess with few consolations
See, I didn't need no consultation
to tell me I'm in need of liberation.
I'm numb so the pain is whatever,
I can hardly feel it being severed,
I hope you're happy
so now u have a piece of my heart forever.

Bitchassness Be Gone!

So this is an ancient facebook note about Bitchassness... I doubt it has ceased to exist but these days I just refuse to deal with it. However, it's funny to revisit my past and laugh at those bitchass-individuals once again!



VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!!!
Some people may find the following message highly amusing, true, or offensive. For all of you that know me, usually I don't speak this way (so excuse the language) but it's about time that I be frank and say what's on my mind. No censorship...Again this message may deflate some egos, cause some shaking of heads, extreme laughter or some handclaps. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

ATTENTION LADIES! BEWARE! BITCHASSNESS IS INCREASING AT AN ALARMING RATE!

Yes everyone! Especially my ladies! Bitchassness is at an all time high. This disease is turning into an epidemic, mostly seen in men! Within the past 24 hours I've had an encounter with this bitchassness and I was highly disturbed, so I felt it was necessary to notify you!

Some signs to look for... this disease comes in many forms...

He doesn't call and has no valid excuse.....bitchassness.

He tries to talk to you and your friend, leaves the same voicemail on both ya'll phones and expects not to get caught....bitchassness.

His apology sounds something like this...”I'm sorry for whatever I did.” This means he's not really sorry, he can't even remember what he did wrong, so how is he going to change his actions....he doesn't want to.....bitchassness

He tells his boys one thing and tells you another.....bitchassness

He doesn't show up for a date or hangout when he said he would (no valid excuse)...bitchassness

He makes up lies about what you just read in his away message....bitchassness

He insist nothing is going on between him and the chick that's been leaving glittery comments on his page...more often than not...bitchassness

He is unwilling to accept that he was wrong, he lies, cheats and deceives. He tells you what you want to hear, gets what he wants and leaves you in the dust....yes suhh!....bitchassness

.....................etc

Feel Free To ADD comments about your sightings of bitchassness

One possible type to look out for....
One that sits behind his computer 90% of the time because he is bored and desperate for attention. He enjoys picking fights because in his twisted mind it's fun to make people upset. After saying all these nice things, he starts to get defensive when you reject his advances. He starts to downplay the situation, like he wasn't the one trying to talk to you. He'll even go as far as telling you that you were apart of some bet that he and his friends had (have we heard this story before?..no originality). He does this because his over-sized, inflated ego has been crushed. After discovering that you've moved on with your life, he realizes that the world doesn't revolve around him. Bitchassness especially appears when things don't go the way he hopes. On the other hand, if this so-called bet existed, what kind of person does that...only one infected with this disease...yes people...bitchassness. Either way you put it the joke is on him.

If you encounter this type or any others that appear to be infected just say....YAHHH!

So what's the resolution....

We've all given in to this disease from time to time (yes even I). But as soon as you find yourself developing the symptoms...say "NO!!! I will not give into bitchassness!"

In order to avoid encounters don't give into the shenanigans and foolishness, because when you give into the games you are partially at fault. (And yes I'm probably giving into some foolishness by posting this note, but after, I'm turning a new leaf...lol...I promise...). Even when you're feeling bored, don't give in, go read a book or do something beneficial because at the end you'll be glad you didn't waste your time. And for all the times you did deal with the bitchassness, take it as a lesson learned.

The cure to this disease...respectful young men who don't pride themselves on being asses. The cure are men who don't act like little boys, who treat women the way they are suppose to be treated, like ladies. They leave the BS behind...yes ladies..these men are actually worth your time. I'd like to personally thank those young men that have shown me that non-bitchassness does exist. Those are the men I applaud...please don't give in like some of the others.


With that said...let's put a stop to it! When you see it coming put your peace sign up and your index down, say “NO!”, and walk away.

Thanks for your time.

Reality Show

I wish I had the courage to tell you all the things I need to, but in between these blurred words and traumatizing trapezoids, and the love bank telling me my check is void, I put my feelings aside. I rest my head on this pillow in hopes that when I awake it will be resolved, in my dreams I could say it all, with little remorse, I'd stand strong and tall. But my double X chromosomes didn't code for growing balls and in addition I stand a little over 5 ft small. I hide behind such excuses. Perhaps I can drop these defenses down with these clothes, but then I'd be exposed and everyone would know. So I put on a show, wishing I only had a 30 minute time slot, but the broadcaster says it's limitless, so I guess not. But when I'm offstage we're always on the clock until time no longer exist and by then I can not turn back the hands. I'd like to rewrite our contract with new demands, with requests that you come to rehearsals on time and be sure that you know your lines and please make them sound convincing so I'll be satisfied. Our love is coming out, it's showtime, at least in my mind. Now this is the part where I tell him I'm in love with another man and the truth is he never even had a chance. This is where I switch, from the protagonist to the cold callus witch. I didn't intend for the season to end like this, where the princess is still waiting for the first last kiss. Instead of victory, she is simply dismissed. Now luckily, my job provides a few luxuries, no house, no car, no bluetooth, just from time to time I'm allowed to, fill in the blanks with impromptu. Now I am skilled in the craft of pretending. Too bad real life doesn't have rewrites and alternate endings.

Woman?

I am a woman
And what does that mean?
It means being judged by how well my ass fits in these jeans or how low I can drop it on the dance floor
It means having my breast starred into rather than my eyes
It means being called a bitch just because I don't want to give my number out
It means being asked about my sexual history before being asked my favorite color
It means being subjected to double standards, in which I'm called a "ho" or "slut" if you THINK I have too many male acquaintances
It means being whistled and "holla-ed" at, as if that's all I'm worthy of
It means watching him rub his hands together and lick his crusty lips as he says " ahhh can I get yo number?"
It means watching as other women giggle as if all these things are acceptable!
It means being called "uptight" simply because I refuse to giggle too.
It means being constantly objectified!

I am a woman, a beautiful creature of this earth, and certainly I deserve RESPECT!

The Visionary

He said he could write about me but declined. So I'll take it upon myself to write about him, where do I begin? Perhaps with the weekend, where we meet, same time, same place, shining lights with cameras in face. They cry and we laugh, about the confrontation & the unfortunate aftermath. He sits at home, downs his last cup of Patrón, his only reply, "idk" (I don't know). After music making and picture taking, he wrestles with some bullshit that he should just let go. I tell him so, but he already knows. But this is the eb and flow - of his life. He hates broken commitments and mispelled* words. He's into action, no need for verbs. He's not the same middle school boy he use to be, he's into mixing beats with symphonies. Anyway, it's way past 3, I've lost my energy, although he declined, I challenge him to write a little about me.

SPECTAC LIKE THAT???

So the latest buzz has been about SEXY SPEC, better known as Spectacular from the Hip-Hop/R&B freaky-deakey hit-maker group Pretty Ricky. Anyone that has heard the last two Pretty Ricky albums knows that these boys aren't shy about what they do (or claim to do) between the sheets, or in the back in their chevys for that matter. With songs like "Grind on Me" and " On the Hotline" we can tell that these guys are no closet freaks. The radio versions of their songs are complete edits of their true raw nature. We'll back to Spectacular.... apparently he thought it would be a good idea to call out all the hot male R&B artist to participate in a "grind challenge". In attempts to promote Pretty Ricky's new single "Tipsy" and to prove himself as the best grinder out there, Spectac appears scantly dressed in his tight red briefs. I'll let you be the judge of his dance moves and whether or not this video was a way of un-closeting something else beside his freak......




And then there is the parody...LMAO!