So innocent and precious you are, but what's hiding behind that smile, are there deep dark scars? Is it genuine or just a front, easier to be passive and give people what they want? Half hugs and a question of how are you, today I could care less. But my perceived concern leaves you content, your ego stroked and carressed. Run away, skip away, as we say. Leave your words undone. Doesn't matter how you left the puzzle, just as long as you had some fun. I finally maned up to your responsibility, mustered up all the courage inside of me. But maybe I'm crazy, I refused to see the signs right in front of me, in hopes that I could achieve my prototypic creation, perhaps it was my overactive imagination. So I check my reflection, but I point my finger in another direction, but maybe I should point it at myself, because in this room, there's no one else. I guess it was inevitable, I was bound to fall. Everything you didn't say, said it ALL.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Since Your Departure....
Since your departure I've questioned my mortality
If I had to leave today
I'd wanna do so with grace and morality
As I imagine you did.
As your body lies there
Your spirit resides up there
And I am down here
Crying here
Trying here
To compose myself
Like everyone else.
The skylights change
He preaches his word
With such animated
adjectives, nouns and verbs.
The music plays
The memories appear
Distorted chuckles
are really a mass
of uncontrollable tears
An ocean of cries
Scared to ask why
A sea of dark garments
Sitting and standing
To see you off
To say goodbye.
My blood shot eyes
My tears dried.
A motivation
An inspiration
I don't question
I don't ask
I simply live,
learn,
and breathe
With every moment,
Make it last.
If I had to leave today
I'd wanna do so with grace and morality
As I imagine you did.
As your body lies there
Your spirit resides up there
And I am down here
Crying here
Trying here
To compose myself
Like everyone else.
The skylights change
He preaches his word
With such animated
adjectives, nouns and verbs.
The music plays
The memories appear
Distorted chuckles
are really a mass
of uncontrollable tears
An ocean of cries
Scared to ask why
A sea of dark garments
Sitting and standing
To see you off
To say goodbye.
My blood shot eyes
My tears dried.
A motivation
An inspiration
I don't question
I don't ask
I simply live,
learn,
and breathe
With every moment,
Make it last.
Friday, November 21, 2008
If I Were A Boy.....
If I Were A Boy...
I could tell you sweet things
Arrange special meetings
Play your favorite song
Beg you to sing along
Make you the mother of my child
Have you laugh out loud
Ask you to hold my hand
Claim to be a man
Call you on the phone
Just cause I feel alone
Send you signals hot and cold
I saw this coming but I never told
"We can keep this going as long as you don't sweat me
I don't have time for the commitment you know I'm extra busy
I'm cute, I'm cuddly, I'm coy
What can I say? I'm just a boy."
I could tell you sweet things
Arrange special meetings
Play your favorite song
Beg you to sing along
Make you the mother of my child
Have you laugh out loud
Ask you to hold my hand
Claim to be a man
Call you on the phone
Just cause I feel alone
Send you signals hot and cold
I saw this coming but I never told
"We can keep this going as long as you don't sweat me
I don't have time for the commitment you know I'm extra busy
I'm cute, I'm cuddly, I'm coy
What can I say? I'm just a boy."
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Lesson Learned
I couldn't make up my mind but my heart had decided
The two conflicted
and my worlds collided
I couldn't get it together
so I remain divided.
I made it past spring, summer and fall
Winter's approaching and I have nothing at all
Except this shadow when the sun shines occasionally
And this umbrella when the days get rainy
Perfect, just when I needed a body to cling to
Leave, this is what you do.
Saw you walking the other day
I turned my head and looked the other way
I couldn't stand to see your face
Wonder who she is and when she'll take my place.
I'm glad I could serve as a play thing
But we can keep it right here
Maintain this blur my dear
I'm asking for too much
I should be satisfied with this part-time
It's gotta be enough.
What was suppose to be a Sweet November
Quickly turned bitter
From a boil
Down to a light simmer.
Fall's weather will deceive
The sunshine and the brightly colored leaves
Mask the cut throat winds
Any leftover warmth leaves you,
You are chilled within
Sit and wait for winter to begin.
Too bad this spark fails to keep me warm
But I'm the one to blame
One heart can't ignite a flame
I'm only slightly charred and partially burned
No regrets just Lesson Learned.
The two conflicted
and my worlds collided
I couldn't get it together
so I remain divided.
I made it past spring, summer and fall
Winter's approaching and I have nothing at all
Except this shadow when the sun shines occasionally
And this umbrella when the days get rainy
Perfect, just when I needed a body to cling to
Leave, this is what you do.
Saw you walking the other day
I turned my head and looked the other way
I couldn't stand to see your face
Wonder who she is and when she'll take my place.
I'm glad I could serve as a play thing
But we can keep it right here
Maintain this blur my dear
I'm asking for too much
I should be satisfied with this part-time
It's gotta be enough.
What was suppose to be a Sweet November
Quickly turned bitter
From a boil
Down to a light simmer.
Fall's weather will deceive
The sunshine and the brightly colored leaves
Mask the cut throat winds
Any leftover warmth leaves you,
You are chilled within
Sit and wait for winter to begin.
Too bad this spark fails to keep me warm
But I'm the one to blame
One heart can't ignite a flame
I'm only slightly charred and partially burned
No regrets just Lesson Learned.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Whisky Whisky
Somehow I thought I could find the answer in that carton of ice cream, or that bottle of whisky, or by re-reading the letters that you sent me. I thought that it was simple like my nightlife, dinner and a movie, that's all I'm use to, the life that you showed me. Tonight I'm faded. Whisk me away on your spaceship. You're my designated driver because I'm intoxicated. The skies are falling but I'm too out of it to notice. Tell me I'm significant, read me a line. Give a watch, so maybe I can get some time. Tell me that I'm one in a million. Until now I was too cynical to get caught up in feelings. I went from cloud nine to a dusted rusted flying carpet that even Saboo wouldn't approve of. Contradiction= the true meaning of love. Whatever this is...I've had enough. So pour me a glass of that good stuff. It's been a long day and I've had it rough. Phone on silent.
A carton of ice cream. A bottle of whisky. I'll sip slowly. Give a good ol' boy a chance to miss me.
Don't underestimate the power of a little whisky whisky!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Vote and Live!
November 4th, 2008
One of the most important elections in history. I'm not that into politics, I don't know much about the issues: the economy, the war, healthcare, etc. But what I do know is that this election is very important. This is the first time an African-American and a woman are running in the presidential election. So this is a VERY HISTORICAL moment. It shows the progression of our country, we've come a long way and we have a long way to go!
First off let me say that voting was one of the most exciting experiences ever. This was my first time voting (I missed the primaries). It was truly a liberating experience, I must say. After class, I headed over to the polls to vote. There was a line but I didn't care. Even if I had to stand their for hours (like many people in other states had to do) I would have done it because its that important. While I was in line I was feeling a little nervous, a lot of excitement, pride and a host of other feelings I probably can't even put into words. Women were denied the right to vote for years, African-Americans were denied the right to vote even longer. So for me not to exercise my right to vote would be disrespectful to my gender and my race. People have said voting doesn't matter because of how the electoral college works and because California is a "blue" state. But either way why shouldn't I exercise my right to vote. The least I can do is exercise my RIGHT to vote, the RIGHT that they fought for, the RIGHT that they died for. People have said it's a priviledge to vote, no it's my RIGHT, my human right, my God-given right. If nothing else I voted for all those people who never got the chance, if not for me, I voted for them.
Now for all those people hating on Obama.... I can respect a difference in political views, but most of the reasoning I've heard from people is stupid (for a lack of a better word). When I see Black people not support Obama it upsets me. Now I believe that we shouldn't base this election on race. People shouldn't just vote for Obama because he is a Black man. Before I continue, let me say he is a man of mixed heritage, both Black and White. He represents both groups but people don't want to recognize that in a good way. He's either "too Black" or "not Black enough". Get over yourselves you stupid ignorant people who say things like that, do you hear how ridiculous you sound. Now back to my other thoughts.... when Black people don't support Obama is upsets me because he isn't a bad candidate. His policies are not horrible and I can gurantee he will do a much better job than our current retard of a president, who is highly unfavored even by his own party! So I guess I'm saying on the one hand people shouldn't have voted for Obama simply because he is Black but it is something to take into consideration. He's thee First to make it this far! and people are taking it lightly, too lightly, especially our Black youth.
Do you know what this means to us as a race. To finally even be considered for president and not only that, but to have a good chance at winning the presidency. And people want to come up with excuses about why they can't or won't vote. You gotta be kidding me people! Wake Up And Smell the Coffee. I'm just getting frustrated with peoples shenanigans and foolishness. The new generation needs to step it up, we are going to be running this country in the future years. Wake up now, the world is changing. So are you just going to sit around and do nothing!
Well election day is coming to an end. 2 more hours until the Los Angeles polls are closed. And then we await the polls to close in Hawaii for the final final call. But I'm sure we will know before then. I can only hope for the best. I believe Obama can make some change in this nation. He can't do it all but I think he's a step in the right direction. I just hope that if he does win that people can accept him as a Black man, I hope that people can see him as more than just his race and see him for his leadership, for his integrity (which he's shown throughout the election unlike the Republicans with their dirty campaigning. There are politics and then there are dirty attacks which cross the line. Then there is the hypocrisy that surely exist in the Republican party. They have conservative views and preach abstinence but yet our wannabe VP Palin has a pregnant daughter that just turned 18 and now all of sudden teen pregnancy is okay. Give me a break! I'm not saying we should ridicule teen mothers, that would be wrong. But don't say something is wrong and then when one of your own does it, you simply write it off and make everything seem good. Now it's acceptable. Not to mention that if one of Obama's daughters had been pregnant, the Republican party would have had a field day. That would have been their main focus.."Obama doesn't live up to good American values and doesn't raise his children right." That's what they would have said. I know it. You know. They know it. Hell we all know it.), for his good character and sportsmenship. Obama isn't perfect, but like I said he isn't a bad candidate and I support him and the change he is trying to make in our country.
Like I said, I don't know much about politics, not much about the issues, but from what I have seen, he has a genuinely good character and that is what matters most to me. So if and when I see Obama win this election, when I see him deliver his inagurial speech and accept his position as commander in chief, President of the United States, maybe then, just then, I will be able to say with honesty and pride,
"I am proud to be an American. I am proud to be apart of a country headed not only by an African-American BLACK man, but a GOOD LEADER!"
All that emotion made my head hurt and I need a drink...serve me up some whisky whisky Tillmore. lol
One of the most important elections in history. I'm not that into politics, I don't know much about the issues: the economy, the war, healthcare, etc. But what I do know is that this election is very important. This is the first time an African-American and a woman are running in the presidential election. So this is a VERY HISTORICAL moment. It shows the progression of our country, we've come a long way and we have a long way to go!
First off let me say that voting was one of the most exciting experiences ever. This was my first time voting (I missed the primaries). It was truly a liberating experience, I must say. After class, I headed over to the polls to vote. There was a line but I didn't care. Even if I had to stand their for hours (like many people in other states had to do) I would have done it because its that important. While I was in line I was feeling a little nervous, a lot of excitement, pride and a host of other feelings I probably can't even put into words. Women were denied the right to vote for years, African-Americans were denied the right to vote even longer. So for me not to exercise my right to vote would be disrespectful to my gender and my race. People have said voting doesn't matter because of how the electoral college works and because California is a "blue" state. But either way why shouldn't I exercise my right to vote. The least I can do is exercise my RIGHT to vote, the RIGHT that they fought for, the RIGHT that they died for. People have said it's a priviledge to vote, no it's my RIGHT, my human right, my God-given right. If nothing else I voted for all those people who never got the chance, if not for me, I voted for them.
Now for all those people hating on Obama.... I can respect a difference in political views, but most of the reasoning I've heard from people is stupid (for a lack of a better word). When I see Black people not support Obama it upsets me. Now I believe that we shouldn't base this election on race. People shouldn't just vote for Obama because he is a Black man. Before I continue, let me say he is a man of mixed heritage, both Black and White. He represents both groups but people don't want to recognize that in a good way. He's either "too Black" or "not Black enough". Get over yourselves you stupid ignorant people who say things like that, do you hear how ridiculous you sound. Now back to my other thoughts.... when Black people don't support Obama is upsets me because he isn't a bad candidate. His policies are not horrible and I can gurantee he will do a much better job than our current retard of a president, who is highly unfavored even by his own party! So I guess I'm saying on the one hand people shouldn't have voted for Obama simply because he is Black but it is something to take into consideration. He's thee First to make it this far! and people are taking it lightly, too lightly, especially our Black youth.
Do you know what this means to us as a race. To finally even be considered for president and not only that, but to have a good chance at winning the presidency. And people want to come up with excuses about why they can't or won't vote. You gotta be kidding me people! Wake Up And Smell the Coffee. I'm just getting frustrated with peoples shenanigans and foolishness. The new generation needs to step it up, we are going to be running this country in the future years. Wake up now, the world is changing. So are you just going to sit around and do nothing!
Well election day is coming to an end. 2 more hours until the Los Angeles polls are closed. And then we await the polls to close in Hawaii for the final final call. But I'm sure we will know before then. I can only hope for the best. I believe Obama can make some change in this nation. He can't do it all but I think he's a step in the right direction. I just hope that if he does win that people can accept him as a Black man, I hope that people can see him as more than just his race and see him for his leadership, for his integrity (which he's shown throughout the election unlike the Republicans with their dirty campaigning. There are politics and then there are dirty attacks which cross the line. Then there is the hypocrisy that surely exist in the Republican party. They have conservative views and preach abstinence but yet our wannabe VP Palin has a pregnant daughter that just turned 18 and now all of sudden teen pregnancy is okay. Give me a break! I'm not saying we should ridicule teen mothers, that would be wrong. But don't say something is wrong and then when one of your own does it, you simply write it off and make everything seem good. Now it's acceptable. Not to mention that if one of Obama's daughters had been pregnant, the Republican party would have had a field day. That would have been their main focus.."Obama doesn't live up to good American values and doesn't raise his children right." That's what they would have said. I know it. You know. They know it. Hell we all know it.), for his good character and sportsmenship. Obama isn't perfect, but like I said he isn't a bad candidate and I support him and the change he is trying to make in our country.
Like I said, I don't know much about politics, not much about the issues, but from what I have seen, he has a genuinely good character and that is what matters most to me. So if and when I see Obama win this election, when I see him deliver his inagurial speech and accept his position as commander in chief, President of the United States, maybe then, just then, I will be able to say with honesty and pride,
"I am proud to be an American. I am proud to be apart of a country headed not only by an African-American BLACK man, but a GOOD LEADER!"
All that emotion made my head hurt and I need a drink...serve me up some whisky whisky Tillmore. lol
Sunday, October 26, 2008
My Deception
How can I expect so much if I'm living unfaithfully?
You should be true, even if I give into hypocrisy.
I dream how you kiss her so passionately, this nightmare only host my insecurity.
I can't be with you politically, so we just meet up personally.
Top secret conspiracy. Assassinate my heart with ease.
Drop down my defenses, can I be your Mrs. ?
Well I passed on the four year plan and I refused to hold his hand.
I rejected his advances, so I remain romanceless.
We had a few facebook pokes, then there were the inside jokes.
It was simply a one night stand, like I said, I refused to hold his hand.
We walked alone, he called on the phone, the deception melts my heart to stone.
I swear how I felt is not how I feel, and if anybody ask, you're the closest thing to real.
Through it all, I hope I haven't lost my appeal.
These days I avoid your eyes, hoping my truth doesn't reveal the lies.
Hoping to hide my deception.
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